


Love is Strange

by Mr_Tiddelsby (JohnnySpades)



Category: Loud House - Fandom
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Loud House, Romance, Teen Romance, The Loud House - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-24 15:54:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16643243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnnySpades/pseuds/Mr_Tiddelsby
Summary: Love is strange, and as Luna finds out, spontaneous





	1. There she goes

Love is a funny thing. Not funny in a “haha” way, but in a “are you serious” kind of way. It doesn’t pick and choose when it comes either. It’s kind of like a cat in that way. You might want it from time to time, but at the end of the day it comes and goes of its own accord and waits till you least expect it to slap you upside the head. And today, of all the days, it did.

I was sitting outside after school, strumming mindlessly on my guitar, as I normally do. It always helped me unwind from the day, before I got back home and rewind myself due to my family. I try to play it cool around them but let’s be real, in a family of 11 kids, several pets, and practically no privacy… That’s basically a pipe dream. 

So there I sat, picking out the guitar part to “Gimme Shelter”. When I play, I don’t just play. Music is a full body experience, I can’t help it. as soon as I pluck the first string, I feel every cell in my body energize. It’s the greatest high I could imagine. There are no drugs or sport, no adrenalin rush, like listening to my axe sing at the command of my fingers. I start to sing along,

“ Oh, a storm is threatening .  My very life today .”

My axe and I continue, no one stops to listen. But I don’t need them to. This is between us and the lyrics. Closing my eyes, I let the tunes and lyrics paint a picture in my mind’s eye.

“ If I don't get some shelter .  Oh yeah, I'm gonna fade away.”

I keep going, singing the song and strumming the lyrics made famous by one of the greatest rock bands of all time. My soul lights up with the words as they dance across my lips. Suddenly, I hear a voice join mine.

“ War, children, it's just a shot away .  It's just a shot away”

I open my eyes in shock. No one, not even in my own family, ever sings this song with me. The words might as well be a lost art to people my age, time having warn them so that now their message didn’t resonate with them. I stop, not prepared for the slap across the face love had prepared for me that day. Because standing beside me, with torn jeans and a shirt from “The Who” was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Her blonde hair was only offset with a streak of rebel blue that fell down around her eyes. I don’t know how long it took me to realize I was staring but she was waving her hand in front of my face. I shook my head trying to get my thoughts back on track.

“Dude, you alright?” She asked, and I felt my heart skip for a second. 

“Yeah… yeah totally. Sorry, it’s rare that anyone knows the rolling stones.”

“You mean, one of the single greatest bands to ever rock the planet? What, do they live under rocks or something?”

“THAT’S WHAT I SAID! Like, how can you go through life not knowing who they are?”

“I feel that dude, I’m Sam by the way.” She says as she offers a hand. My cheeks flush red. It’s hard to explain, but it feels like a goddess of rock as flown down to earth and has seen fit to grace me with her presence. After a moment I shake her hand,

“I-I’m uhh… Loud. I mean Luna. Loud is my last name. But most people just call me Luna.”

She laughs and my guts turn to goo at the sound.

“Luna Loud huh, that’s a rocker name if ever I heard one. Your parents must have known.” 

I try to laugh, but it comes out more like goofy giggle. ‘Play it cool dude, please for the love of rock play it cool.’ I rub the back of my head and try to act aloof. 

“I guess so.”

“Well, I’ll see you around Luna Loud.” She says before turning and walking away. Immediately I let out the breath I had no idea I was holding. I feel like I just ran a mile in five minutes. Luan comes up beside me and snaps her fingers in front of my face.

“What? Huh?”

Luan sighs. “you’ve been standing there for like two minutes staring into space. What gives?”

I blush and rub my neck.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it.” I turn to walk towards the house

“No, not nothing. You’re as red as my clown nose. You got a crush!” she says as she darts around me, hands clasped behind her back. 

“Oh, Em, Gosh! Luna has a crush?!” I cringe and look back to see my older sister Leni on the verge of a squeal. I quickly silence her with a finger over her lips.

“No Leni, No crush. I don’t have a crush. Both of you knock it off!” I say as I walk ahead of them, keeping a fast pace to avoid the conversation. It couldn’t be a crush, I mean I just met her. I knew I liked girls, I mean… I don’t really see people in terms of gender. Why limit yourself for something as silly as that? But I never really found someone that tugged my heart strings. There was that cute guy that Link had tutor him… God he was man pretty. And then there was Ms. Demartino. But when I thought of them, it was purely physical. It wasn’t a crush, not really. But this Sam girl… I don’t know. It feels different somehow. Could it be a crush?

I walk through the door just in time to be grabbed about the shoulders by Lori.

“You, me, girl talk. NOW!” She says as she yanks me into her and Leni’s bedroom. Before I know what is happening Lori, Leni, and Luan have a blanket fort made and are giggling like teenage girls. Which, to be fair, we are. Lori sat with her head resting on her tented hands, Leni and Luan on either side of her.

“Alright Luna, spill, who is it?” She says with a wry smile that is reminiscent of a tiger showing its teeth right before I takes down its prey. I shutter a bit.

“It’s no one, I don’t have a crush!” I say

Luan rolls her eyes, “Luna, we may have been born at night, but it wasn’t last night.”

“Of course it wasn’t Luan… We’re teenagers. And I don’t think I was born at night at all.”

Luan and Lori facepalm, “No Leni, we’re saying that she isn’t fooling anyone about this crush.”

Leni nods emphatically, “Ohhhh, I get it.”

“You don’t really… do you.” Lori asks, though it isn’t much of a question as a statement of fact.

Leni’s smile fades and she droops her head. “No..”

“Look, girls, this is sweet and all, but I don’t have a crush!”

“So then, you going gaga for that blonde rocker chick was a coincidence.” Luan chides. My mouth falls open in shock. She was there?!

“You heard me and Sam?!” I almost scream before I cover my mouth with my hands.

“And we have a name.” Lori says giving Luan a high five. My whole face goes red and it feels like it’s a million degrees under that blanket. I put my face in my hands and pull my knees to my chest. 

Leni crawls over and gives me a big hug. “Luna, it’s ok. We love you, no matter who you crush on.”

It makes me oddly feel better as I lean into her hug. Lori and Luan join in shortly after and I let out a sigh. “Thanks girls, it means a lot. I’m not sure how I feel still but..”

I put a hand to my chest, “I felt really weird when I was talking to her. I don’t know how to explain it.” 

Lori puts a hand on my shoulder. “I know what you mean. It’s like when you see them smile, it feels like sunshine inside.”

Leni nods “and when they notice you, it feels like nothing else in the world matters in that moment.”

Luan smiles, “That’s called love sis. You may not know her, but you do like her.”

I hug myself as a smile creeps across my face. They are right, I won’t say it out loud… But they are. Sam is something special, and for the first time I can remember. I’m excited to go to school tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got around to posting this! I wrote this a while back and was like "I should post this" and then proceeded to not do it at all. So now that I have the balls to do it, here's my first chapter of "Love is Strange". I really hope you all enjoy it :D


	2. Leap of Faith

Do you remember that first love in your life? You never buy all those things your parents tell you. How “one day you’ll meet someone and your heart will race and-“ blah blah blah. You never believe them, because ‘boys have cooties’ or ‘girls are gross’. But then one day, you’re playing Rolling Stone songs after class, and love comes along and sings Rolling Stones with you. And in the moment, you want to know that person more than anything else in the whole world. Then they are gone, and you’re heart calms down eventually, and the first thought in your head is ‘dangit, mom and dad were right.’ Obviously, I’m talking about my experience here, but I think it’s pretty universal.

The next few days were the same, I would hang out by the door waiting on my sisters to get done with class. Which means impromptu rock session on the front lawn of the school. And Sam would eventually show up and rock out with me. She has this amazing voice, I don’t know how to explain it. Just, when she sings, I feel it resonate with my soul. Eventually, she started bringing her guitar too and we got to play duets outside the school. Those evenings could have lasted forever and you would never hear me complain.

Well, except for one thing. My sisters were hellbent on getting me to ask Sam out. Luan, of course, would joke about how we looked like a couple singing the way we did. Which never ceased to make things hard for me. Lori would try to get Sam to come over to our place or work out some kind of double date with Bobby. But Leni was the worst. Leni doesn’t know the meaning of the word subtle. And I do mean that literally, I asked her and she had no idea what I was talking about. She kept asking Sam is she was into girls, which would make Sam and I blush till I grabbed the three of them by the ear and dragged them off. Finally I had had enough.

“Ok dudes, I get you’re trying to help and junk. But if you keep this up you’re going to ruin my chances before I even have a chance to try. You’re killin’ me out there!” Luan opened her mouth to retort, but quickly closed her mouth. The three of them looked at one another and sighed.

“Luna,” Lori began “We’ll stop trying. But…” Lori trailed off. Leni picked up the slack

“But we think you should. You too are totes cute together! And we know you like her a lot.” Leni smiled and rubbed my shoulder. Luan came and gave me a hug.

“We have nothing but faith in you sis.” She said as she pulled away. I smiled and looked back at Sam. She sat there playing her guitar, singing with that voice that crushed my heart like a vice. I looked back at my sisters and smiled. 

“Tell mom I’ll be a little late for dinner? I’m going to hang here for a bit before I come home.” They smile and turn to walk home. 

“Go get ‘er tiger.” Lori says with a wink, making me blush furiously.

“I thought the girl’s name was Sam.” Leni says, making the other two face palm as they walked off. I chuckle a bit and walk back to Sam, taking my seat next to her with my guitar.

“About time you got back. I was thinking you ditched me.” She said, playfully punching my arm. I laugh a little bit.

“And miss this sick rock session? Not a chance dude.” Sam smiles, making my heart ache. Have you ever looked at someone when they smiled, every thought in your head leaves and you get this overwhelming need to see just how soft their lips are? I swear this girl makes me putty and she has no idea. I sigh and pick up my guitar. 

“So what should we play?” I ask, picking a couple notes at random. She thinks for a moment and then starts to pluck a tune. It takes me a moment, before I recognize the first notes to ‘it ain’t me’. I let out a small chuckle as I start to pluck along.

“Never took you for a Selena Gomez fan” I say as she starts to get into it. She gives me a side eye glare and keeps playing.

“First off, it’s Kygo, Selena just sang part of it. Second, Shut up it’s a rockin’ song.” She says and I laugh a little more. She starts singing the lyrics and that feeling comes back to my soul. The feeling of music energizing my very being, and I get lost in it.

“ I had a dream you were hanging out with me. Highest floor, The Bowery. Nowhere's far enough”

I look over at her, and it’s everything; The music, the girl, the guitar. My heart feels about ready to burst from my chest. I keep strumming, as she comes up to the chorus line. I can’t stop myself and sing with her.

“Who's gonna walk you through the dark side of the morning? Who's gonna help you when the sun won't let you sleep? Who's waking up to take you home when you're through and all Alone? Who's gonna walk you through the dark side of the morning?”

We strum and look at each other. Her eyes are alight, cheeks flushed from the song. She is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, a rock goddess. I swallow hard, it’s now or never. The moment is perfect.

“Hey Sam?” I ask timidly, coughing a bit to try and clear my throat from the frog that seems to have spawned there.

“What’s up? Not your song?”

“No no, it’s awesome. Plus you do a great cover of it.”

“Heck yeah I do dude!” She throws up the horns and I swoon. FOCUS!

“I was wondering if maybe, you know…” she looks at me with a curious expression.

“You ok Luna, you’re super red.” 

“I’m fine! I just… ugh I wanted to ask you if you wanted-“ All of a sudden a horn blasts out of nowhere. We both look over to see her brother in his car waving at her.

“Sam, We got to split or mom is going to be cheesed again!” Her eyes shoot to her watch and she grabs her backpack.

“Dude! I totally lost track of time! I got to go-“ She stands up and turns to go. I don’t know exactly what comes over me. But I stand up with her and grab her hand. She looks back at me puzzled. This is the moment, it has to be.

“Sam, do you want to get dinner together sometime?” She looks shocked for a second, and my heart drops into my boots. I’m sure I messed this up. She looks back at the car and gestures to him, saying to wait just a second. She grabs my hand and gives it a comforting squeeze.

“That sounds awesome dude. Call me later and we can talk det’s.” I am in total shock. She smiles and runs to the car.

“Talk soon dude!” she says as she hops in and they speed off. I’m still stunned when I hear squeeling. I whip around to see three girls poking out from behind a tree. I don’t know if it’s possible but I think my whole body blushed. Leni darts over and takes me in a hug.

“You did it!” She rubs her cheek into the top of my head. Lori put a hand on my shoulder, and I look up to see her beaming with pride.

“You did so good Luna. We’re so proud of you.”

“Yeah sis! Now you just need to call her,” Luan says. I pick my phone out of my skirt pocket and pull up her contact. I sigh and look at them, all supportive of me. I couldn’t have asked for better family. I nod and start to walk home with them. Now, I just need to figure out what to say when I call her.


	3. Daughter of Darkness

There I sat on Luan’s bed, staring at my phone. I Just had to press call, and talk to Sam about us going out. That’s it, nothing major. Yet I couldn’t get myself to press the button. I let out a sigh and flopped back on her bed. Luan patted my shoulder.

“Hey, you got this. The hardest part is just pushing the button.” She said, giving me a reassuring smile. I sit up and smile back weakly.

“You’re right sis, but does everyone else have to be here when I do it?” I say as I gesture to nearly our entire family in the bedroom. They all smiled back at me and nodded.

“If you think we’re missing this, you’re nuts.” Lynn said slyly

“Just call already! I’ll be dating before you do it at this rate.” Lana said

I stuck out my tongue before I looking back at my phone. Sam’s face stared back at me from her contact picture. We took one on each other’s phones. Was she looking at mine? Was she waiting by her cell, hoping I’d call. All the while I sit here scared of what would happen when I called a girl who already said yes to a date with me. No, Luna loud was a lot of things; A rocker, a sister, a fairly good computer tech, but she was not a coward.

I pressed the call button and held the phone to my ear. Everyone was holding their breath, myself included. It rang a few times, and I began to think it was a waste when she picked up the call.

“Hey Lu, ‘sup?” she said light heartedly into the phone. I swooned for a second before remembering I have ten people watching me. So I coughed and tried to force the shake out of my voice.

“Hey Sam, I was wondering what you would want to do together.” Idiot, I sounded like an idiot. How could I have not thought of something beforehand.

“Well, Joan Jett and the blackhearts will be in town next week. I really wanted to go, but I feel like it would be more fun with you. Want to go?” My eyes went wide, Joan Jett was one of my idols. My family all look at me and nod their heads, as if I was going to say no.

“That sounds amazing dude! I’d totally love to go with you.” I say trying to keep my excitement under wraps, but at this point that was like trying to keep a lid on a volcano. She laughed on the other side of the phone.

“wicked dude, I’ll get us the tickets. I’ll see you tomorrow at school.”

“yeah, totally. Later Sam.” And we hung up. I looked at my phone with the biggest grin on my face. I was going to see Joan Jett and the Blackhearts! And even more than that I was going with the most amazing girl I had ever met. I had almost forgotten I had an audience in the room with me. Almost, but was quickly reminded when all of them tackled me in one large group hug.

“It’s about time! You did it Luna!” Luan said ruffling my hair. I pushed them off, laughing the whole time.

“Now to figure out what to wear!” Leni said happily

“Whoa whoa whoa, the concert isn’t until next week.”

“So?” Lana quipped, “It’s never too early to plan an outfit.” I shrugged, she had a point. Plus, there were ten of them to my one. I wasn’t leaving this room without and outfit planned out for this concert. Resigned to my fate, I let them pull out clothes for me to try on. After Link had been kicked out of course. Though, to be honest I think he was more than ok with having an excuse to escape.

Two hours and what felt like a million outfit combinations later, I had the perfect outfit. They had taken an old ‘runaways’ tee that I had torn and turned into a sleeveless crop top years ago. It used to be dad’s, but then he outgrew it and it worked its way down to me. I went with a pair of ripped black jeans and a tied purple flannel shirt tied loosely around my hips. That was Lori’s idea. She said that “it really showed them off.” Which, she wasn’t wrong. I looked damn good. Under the shirt I wore a purple bandeau bra that said “Rock Hard” across it in white letters and topped it off with a black collar that mom and dad both had told me they weren’t exactly thrilled to see me buy. A few leather bracelets and my trademark paperclip earrings later and I looked like a goddess of rock.

Leni and Lori stood on either side of me while I looked myself over in the mirror. The other sisters waited behind them, nodding their approval.

“Luna, this is perfect.” Lori said placing a hand on my shoulder.

“You think so?” I said turning a few times to see it from different angles. Leni nodded enthusiastically.

“One look at you in this, and it’s over. She’ll be putty in your hand.” She said, placing a hand on my other shoulder. I felt something flow through me. It wasn’t love, either for my sisters or Sam. It also wasn’t the same feeling I felt when I played music. No this was new, it felt like…power. For the first time I felt powerful. In the outfit I was, in a nearly literal sense, a goddess. I felt like if I wanted something, I could have it. A snap of my finger and a wink of my eye and I could have anything. I smiled widely and reached for my guitar. I needed to get this energy out before I exploded with excitement.

Wrapping my fingers around the fretboard, I started to play the opening lick to ‘Daughters of Darkness’ while singing.

“Na-na-na-na-na. Na-na-na-na-na”. Every girl in the room perked up, and to my shock, Luan hopped on the drums.

“We came battle, baby. We came to win the war. We won’t surrender till we, get what we’re looking for.” 

“We're blowing out our speakers, there goes the neighborhood” At that I cranked my amps up to max and began to really cut loose as I danced about the room with guitar in hand.

“A little scissor happy, little misunderstood.”  Lori and Leni grabbed hair brushes and sang along with me

“We can turn you on. Or we will turn on you” Before I knew what I had started, the whole family was in the room, singing the chorus with a level of energy I didn’t know they could do.

“Daughters of darkness. Sisters insane. A little evil, goes a long, long way. We stand together. No we're not afraid. We'll live forever. Daughters of darkness. Daughters of darkness”

That only drove me forward, and soon the energy or pure rock was radiating from the walls and shaking the windows in time with the beat of the drum and the strum of my guitar. I felt the sweat drip from my brow, and the sting in my fingers as I pushed them to new limits. I didn’t care. This energy, this power, it was intoxicating. In that moment, during that song, with these people, I was a true goddess of rock. And I was going to have Sam’s heart, because there was nothing in this world I could not do.


	4. The Girl at the Rock Show

The next few days flew by. I hung out with Sam after school like we always did, and we talked about the show and how great it was going to be. Most of the time we would play our own covers of Joan’s songs. At least until one of us got dragged home by parents or siblings. At which point I would walk home with a smile a mile wide, my siblings poking fun at me. I didn’t care. Sam was so amazing! And she agreed to go on a date with me. There were times I seriously had to stop and pinch myself to make sure it was real.

Finally, the day of the concert arrived. I got on my outfit, did my makeup, and looked in the mirror. I felt that energy in me again. I was going to let it all out at this concert. I heard the doorbell and raced down the stairs, hoping to beat everyone to the door. I was sadly, not that fortunate. All twelve of them, parents and siblings alike, stood to the side waiting for me to open the door. I looked at each of their faces, grins plastered on as they waited for me to open the door. I sighed, debating getting my guitar to beat them back till I could get out the door. That plan, however, was foiled when a second knock came at the door.

“You should, definitely, get that.” Lynn said slyly. I resisted the urge to throw her into the next room and took a deep breath. Friends, when I say I was not ready for the beauty on the other side of that door. I truly, honestly, deeply mean it. She was wearing an old battered ‘The Ramones’ band shirt, a pair of torn leggings that were decorated with the emblem from ‘Guns ‘n Roses’, and a pleated red skirt that was covered in chains and studs. It just barely covered her, but she had on leggings, so that didn’t really matter. But for some reason still got me just the tiniest bit heated. 

“Hey Lu, you ready?” I don’t know how long I stood there, but eventually Lori pushed me out the door towards Sam.

“She’s ready. You two have fun!” She said waving at us.

“And no drugs or alcohol!” Dad shouted after us. I covered my face in embarrassment.

“No worries Mr. L, I’ll keep her straight.” Sam shouted back. She either didn’t see the irony in her words, or she did and was playing with me. But I laughed none the less. We talked as we walked to the concert hall. Nothing specific, just whatever came to our minds. Our goals for the future, our families, things we hated and loved about school. It felt like no time at all before we were in line, giggling and making jokes. Then, it came to my all time favorite, pre-concert thing to do, sing-alongs! I got out my guitar and started plucking notes with Sam.

“What do you want to sing?” I said, picking out a couple wicked licks on my acoustic. She looks at me thoughtfully for a moment before taking my guitar from me.

“Dude, my six string!” I said and start to pout. She laughs and touches my lips with her finger. 

“I forgot mine at home.” She says with a wink and starts strumming. It isn’t long before she is caught up in the acoustic high of the song. It takes me a moment, but the tune lights up my face.

“I'll buy you a diamond ring my friend if it makes you feel alright. I'll get you anything my friend if it makes you feel alright-“  She strums dances to the beat of the song, and I join in.

“Cos I don't care too much for money, and money can't buy me love.” People in the line began to dance and sing with us. Soon, we have a whole dance party started with the two of us and a six string at the center of it all.

“Can't buy me love, everybody tells me so-“We leaned into each other, Belting out the lyrics. 

“Can't buy me love, no no no, no” Sam whipped back and strummed out an impromptu solo on my guitar. Totally rocking out to the cheers of the crowd. I felt my heart lurch. She was rocking so hard; sweat dripping from her brow, and eyes shut tight as the tunes coursed through her. It was the most amazing, most awesome, most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I shook myself out of my swooning daze and joined her.

The two of use danced around each other, playing of one another’s energy till we stood there panting for breath. The song ended, and left us, facing one another again with flushed cheeks. The crowd around us cheers and whistles, while we gaze into each other’s eyes. After a moment we blushed and looked away, Sam handing me my guitar.

“That’s a pretty good song. Always loved the Beatles” I say with a chuckle, rubbing at the back of my head. She hands me back my guitar and points towards the front of the line.

“Line’s moving, lets go!” We both ran up to the ticket master, still a little sweaty from the show we had put on before. He looked us over and smiled.

“That was pretty rockin’ dudes. You make a pretty wicked couple.” My whole face instantly flushed red. Sam laughed while handing him the tickets, her own cheeks a little burnt. He tore off the stubs and handed them back. We walked by and he gave me the thumbs up as I passed. 

We found our seats just in time for the lights to dim and the sounds of guitar to ring out around the concert hall. I watched the curtain rise, the opening lick to “I love rock and roll” blasting through the speakers of the stadium. The pure rock energy pouring out and filling my soul. Sam and I looked at each other with huge grins before throwing up the horns.

“Hey Royal woods-“ she began, still in a black silhouette. The crowd erupted in cheers. She waited for a moment, hand still picking at the guitar around her waist.

“Me too, I love doing shows here. There is only one thing I love more than that.” The lights shot on, showing Joan Jett clad in her signature red leather. The crowd went nuts, making her rebel smile grow wide.

“yeah you know it. I love rock and roll baby.” She said, leaping forward and bending low into her guitar as she began to sing the song.  Sam and I were blown away, listening to the original rebel queen sing, telling a tale of a cute boy by the jukebox who was going home with her (yeah her). We rocked out to all the best hits, straight from Joan Jett herself. Bad reputation, cherry bomb, dirty deeds, she did it all. Finally, the show reached a climax and the lights dimmed. The guitar picking slowed down and she started to play love hurts.

I turned to Sam, her skin was glowing with sweat. Her hair was sticking to her forehead and she was still rocking out. She bit her lower lip as she rocked out on the air guitar, playing in time to the music. It was, no joking, magical. I put my hand on her shoulder and we looked into each other’s eyes. The music stopped, or at least it felt like it did. In that moment it was just us. She brushed her hair behind her ear and cocked her head to the side.

“Something on your mind Lu?” she asked, giving me her full attention.

“you’re…” I began and trailed off. I don’t know if this has happened to you. But sometimes, when you see someone who is so beautiful it feels like it physically hits you. And in that moment, sweat soaked and rocking out, Sam was the most beautiful creature ever to grace rock and roll. Before I could think about my words, they were out of my mouth.

“You’re beautiful.” And there it was. Before I could think about what those words could do, they were out, and I couldn’t take them back. She stood there with an awkward smile and a small blush.

“Awww, nah I’m no-“

“Yes you are.” I cut her off. “You are beautiful, and amazing and a rock goddess and I really like you!” I closed my eyes. I felt a warm, callused hand on my face. I looked at her, face still blushing.

“Lu, I really like you too.” I felt my heart race for a second before an iceburg dropped into my veins.

“That sounds like it’s going to be followed with a ‘but’” She nodded slowly.

“But I don’t know how I feel about girls yet.” And there it was, what I had feared most. That maybe my feelings could only ever be one sided because she wasn’t interested in girls. Sure, she didn’t know, but what were the odds she would be into me like I am into her. My head slumped.

“Hey hey, don’t be sad. I’m sure-“

“That there is someone out there for me.” I said softly as I pushed away her hand from my cheek. She seemed a bit taken aback.

“I knew I should have just minded my own business. You’re cute and a good friend, and I had to go and fall for you like an idiot.”

“Lu, I-“

“I know I’m not pretty like the other girls. I don’t get guys who come after me like Lori or Leni. And it’s so hard to find girls who feel how I feel.” I felt the tears start to roll down my cheek, the warmth of her hand quickly replaced with wet tears.

“No that’s not what-“ I put up a hand and cut her off, still not looking her in the eye.

“I had thought, maybe, this feeling meant I had found someone like me. Who I could finally give my heart to. But I was wrong. And I’m so sorry.” I grabbed my guitar and ran out of the stadium.

“Luna Wait!” I heard her, but I didn’t look back. I couldn’t look back. I could hardly hold my heart together, and it felt like if I saw her face now it would shatter. So I kept my head down and raced out the door. I didn’t stop till I got back to the house. Everyone was there waiting in the living room. They started to cheer till they saw my face and my ruined makeup.

“Luna, what happened?!” Lori began, Leni racing over to give me a hug. I pushed leni away and shook my head gently.

“Sam… isn’t interested in girls.” Lori starts to reach out for me.

“Aw Luna, I’m so-“

“You guys just had to push me to do this!” my sadness giving way to rage. I was bottled lightning and I was striking whatever was close. Lori took a step back.

“You and Leni and Luan… You couldn’t just let me have this crush. I should have known she wouldn’t be into me. But you guys…” Fresh tears ran down my face. All my siblings backed away, but I didn’t care. I just needed this anger out of my system.

“You… you… you made me believe it could happen. And I made a fool of myself.” I ran upstairs and slammed the door behind me. I looked at myself in the mirror. The outfit that had once given me so much power, so much confidence, now felt like shackles on my body. I took them off and climbed into my bed with just my underwear. I cried into my pillow till there were no more tears, and I finally passed out.


	5. After the fall

I woke up the next day, my eyelids sticking together a bit with dried sleep and old makeup. I crawled down from my bunk and took a glance at the clock by Luan’s bed. It was already past noon. I didn’t really care though, I felt tired clear to my soul. I walked out of the room, not bothering to put on clothes and hopped in the shower. The nice thing about waking up late in a big family is your odds of having the bathroom to yourself were a lot better.

I let the warm water run down my body, washing away the ruined mascara and smudged eye shadow. It felt so soothing, standing there in the warm shower. The best part I think was that I couldn’t tell if I was crying anymore. If the warm water running down my cheeks was tears or not, I couldn’t tell anymore. I grabbed the shampoo and started to clean up. 

“I’m just not sure if I’m into girls.” Those words, that sentence, it rang in my head over and over. They bounced around in my head, looking for a way out. I sat down on the floor of the shower and hugged my knees tight while I let a wave of anger flow over me. The soap in my hair began to run down my face while I sat there, but I didn’t care. I just felt awful. I finished washing and dried myself off.

Once I wrapped myself in my towel I looked at my reflection in the mirror. The Luna that looked back at me looked like she had been through hell, shower or not. She was heartbroken, and it showed. And once again I felt that anger crawl back up my spine. It wasn’t at Sam, or my sisters, it was at myself. I looked at the broken girl in the mirror and I was so angry at her. I gripped the sink and looked her dead in the eye.

“You’re stronger than this!” I yelled, not caring if the whole house heard me.

“Look at yourself, one girl isn’t into you and you’re ready to throw in the towel. That’s not Luna Loud dude. Luna Loud would grab her axe and play out here feelings till her fingers bled. She would use this pain to create art.” I gaze at my reflection, that broken girl gone, and replaced with a determined rocker. I walk back to my room and grabbed my guitar. Luan, who had been reading on her bed, looked over at me.

“Luna?” she said timidly as I plugged in to my amp. Electricity ran up my arm as my guitar synced to my soul, becoming and extension of my being. Luan sat up, taking off her Groucho Marx reading glasses. I let my fingers dance across the fret board, playing licks from whatever songs my mind thinks up. Back in Black, Highway to Hell, Smells Like Team Spirit, Neon, each note coming as going as quickly as my thoughts. 

Lori and Leni peeked their heads in, watching me as I let out every emotion I had pent up. Screaming through my guitar to release the tension that was putting pressure on my heart. The two girls join Luan on her bed, while my other sisters slowly trickled into the room. Before I knew it I was putting on an impromptu show for my whole family. But I wasn’t playing for them. I was playing through every song I could think off, trying to find the one. The key to the lock I had put on my heart. Faster and faster as I played, searching for that song. I just couldn’t find it. Then, suddenly, my fingers stopped.

I opened my eyes, not even knowing I had closed them. I found it. I was, after all, a rock goddess. A rebel queen, and every queen needed an anthem. Lori came up behind me and put a hand on my shoulder.

“Luna, Are you alright?” She asked timidly, Leni following close by to help however she could. I turned to them, and both let out a tiny gasp. Fresh tears had begun to trailblaze down my face. I shook my head.

“I’m not, not really,” I started to strum to the song that had latched onto my soul. “My heart hurts. But…” I grinned. 

“I think I know how to help it some.” The licks to Dirty Deed started to make their way out of my amps. All the girls, and the one boy, smiled at me as they bobbed along to the beat. I let my heart speak through my guitar. Letting my fingers say what my mouth couldn’t explain. Using the songs beat and tones to get the rage out of my soul.

“Dirty deeds!”

“Done dirt cheap!” They echoed,

“Dirty deeds”

“Done dirt cheap”

Each note healing my soul a tiny bit. The lyrics became a band-aid for my wounded ego. When I finally finished, I sat on the carpet still clad in my towel. Leni grabbed me a shirt and my skirt. Which I quickly put on under my towel before tossing it to the side. 

“I…” I began “I’m so sorry.” I looked Lori, Leni, and Luan all in the eye in turn.

“I said such awful things to you guys. You just wanted me to be happy.” Leni ran over and hugged me tight to her chest.

“It’s ok Luna, we understand. You were hurting, sometimes we lash out when we are in that place.” Leni looked me in the eye.

“We would never hold that against you. But thank you for the apology.” Lori and Luan nodded. Lori came over to us and gave me a hug as well. And before I knew what was happening I was in the center of a group hug. Once that was over Luan looked at me sheepishly.

“So, what exactly happened?” she asked like she was walking on thin ice. I took a deep breath and explained the whole night. From the Beatles rock session in line to the moment I ran out in tears. The nodded in understanding. Lincoln was the first to speak up.

“It didn’t sound like she didn’t like you though.” I looked at him wide eyed.

“You think so?”

“Yeah,” Lynn stepped in.

“She sounds like she is just confused. Maybe she does like girls, maybe she doesn’t. She’s just as lost in this as you are sis.” The others nodded their agreement.

“I think… You guys aren’t the only ones I owe an apology.” I said looking at my hands.

“Yeah probably,” Lori said with a warm-hearted smile. “But you can do it. And we will always be here for you.” I nodded. I knew what I had to do and how I was going to do it. I just needed to work up the nerve to do it. 

The next few days I avoided Sam like the plague. It wasn’t on purpose… or at least I didn’t think it was. Every time I tried to talk to her, I chickened out and ran away. I wanted to fix things, I really did. But the way I ran out, I was so embarrassed. Each time I tried just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I had resigned myself to never fixing, and I went to my locker to grab my books for my next class. 

“Maybe I’ll get lucky and get discovered before next semester and it’ll just fix itself.” As if, I had a better chance of getting struck by lightning. I opened my locker, and found a small white letter flutter out. I picked it up and glanced at it. My name had been scrawled across the back. 

“This is Sam’s handwriting.” I said aloud to myself before looking around to see if she was nearby. The hallway was totally empty. I opened it up and read it silently to myself. 

“Meet me at the spot after school. Sam”


	6. Just Us

Feelings and music are very much the same. It’s kind of like experiencing the rain with your eyes closed, or with your fingers in your ears. It’s the same thing, but the way it hits you, is so different. If my feelings could be explained with music, I think it could be summed up nicely as a mix between jazz and death metal. The loudest mix of unintelligible thoughts bouncing around and threatening to break my mind into tiny pieces.

I read the letter over and over again. It’s amazing how some things are hard to read at least once, like school textbooks, while other things you could read over and over and could keep doing it. The letter being a fine example of the later. What really struck me was how it lacked any form of implication. The way it was written, it didn’t say that she was mad at me, nor that she was in dire need to see me. Just that she was going to be at our spot after school, and if I was there, she would like to have a word with me. 

I slammed my back against my closed locker door, my mind racing faster and faster till I could barely stand it and hit the brakes. I slide down my locker and held my knees, feeling tears come to my eyes. Not out of sadness, or even fear, but frustration. I wanted to see her, to say I was sorry and hope she could forgive me. I also wanted to run, run all the way home and hide till the world ended. Then I wanted to stop crying because I was being overly dramatic, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up into Leni’s eyes, soft and warm.

“Lulu, what’s wrong?” She asked quietly before sitting next to me. I whipped my eyes of tears and looked away.

“Nothing, shouldn’t you be in class?” I asked, coming off a bit snappier than I had intended. She touched a finger to her chin and looked around.

“You know, I think so… But I don’t remember what class it is. Today’s Tuesday right?”

“It’s Thursday…” I answered, trying to keep a giggle out of my throat.

“Really? I could have sworn it was Tuesday. That explains a few things, like the naked person in my advanced art class.” She shrugged it off like it was something normal and turned back to me.

“But that’s not what we’re talking about Lulu, what’s wrong.”

The smile that had worked its way onto my face faltered and I rested my head on my knees.

“Sam wants to talk to me after school.”

“That’s great!” she said clapping her hands together. “You can talk to her and say you’re sorry for everything.”

“But what if that isn’t what happens?” I barked, feeling a fresh line of tears running down my cheeks. Leni covered her mouth with a hand.

“What if she wants to tell me to stay away. That she likes boys after all and that we can’t be friends. What if-“ Leni cut me off with a very firm hug, forcing my tears to soak the strap of her dress. She held me there till my crying slowed to soft sobs, and I returned her hug. She pulled back and looked me in the eye.

“What if she wants to tell you that she has feelings for you?” Before I could retort she covered my mouth with a single finger.

“What if, she wants to tell you she isn’t sure, but she wants to try with you. Because you’re worth it, and her heart is telling her there is something there” I laughed, which with the tears came out more like a drowned cat. Leni smiled and whipped away some tears from my face with the her thumb while she cradled my face in her hands..

“You don’t know what is going to happen. And yeah, that’s scary.” She tilted my head up till we were looking eye to eye.

“But tell me what’s worse; going and finding out, or not going and spending every day thinking about what could have been?” I nodded

“That’s, some cheesy stuff sis.” She pondered on that thought for a moment,

“Yeah, but I’m right.” And, it was really hard to argue that point. We stood up and I looked at the clock on my phone.

“Guess I’ll have to wait and see.” I said, and we walked to the bathroom, so I could clean myself up.

The last few hours of the day dragged on for what felt like an eternity. I couldn’t hear the voices of my friends or teachers, all I could hear were my thoughts. Finally, the bell rung out and I gathered my things. After a brief stop at my locker I headed out of the school. I looked over and saw her, plucking away at her guitar.

I took a deep breath and walked over. She saw me and stood up, stopping in the middle of the song. I waved,

“Hey Sam.”  I said shyly.

“Hey”

We stood there for a moment., awkwardly looking at anything but each other. I finally spoke up.

“So, I know you wanted to talk to me. But…” my voice trailed off. I gripped the edge of my skirt tight as I pushed forward.

“But I wanted to say I was sorry for how I acted at the concert. I was so sure you wouldn’t like me, couldn’t like me. That when you said that, it felt like I was right. I freaked out, and I’m sorry.” I stood there for a moment, staring at my feet. She didn’t say anything, and for what felt like hours I stood there, vulnerable and afraid. I felt tears starting to form in my eyes when her hand gently lifted my eyes to hers.

I gazed into them, and for a moment I was sure I was dead. That this, this was how I was going to die. She was going to tell me she couldn’t feel anything for me beyond friendship and my heart would literally break.

“Lu, you’re an idiot.” She said with a soft laugh.

“I don’t know how I feel about girls. I told you that,” She brushed away a tear from my eyes, “But I know how I feel about you.” My ears perked up at those words.

“W-what?”

“Luna, you are the coolest, most amazing girl I have ever met. Before we met, I was just going through the motions. Biding my time till I graduated,” She gestured up at the school, “This place meant nothing to me. I was here because I had to be.” She placed her forehead gently on mine.

“But then I met you. And for the first time in I don’t know how long, I was excited to come back here. It took me a while to realize it, but I had some help seeing why.” She gestured behind herself, and I saw all of my siblings, winking and waving at me.

“Because being here meant I got to see you, and I wanted nothing more than to sit here with you and sing songs. I wanted to be near you.” She cupped my cheek and drew my gaze back to her. 

“I can’t say I love you, we’re teenagers, and who knows what the future holds. Maybe we don’t work out, maybe you decide that you don’t like girls or something else takes us apart,” she ran her hand up till it was in my hair.

“But for now, for however long we have, I want to be with you.” I felt my heart stop and my jaw drop open. She… She did like me. Off in the distance I heard the soft sound of guitar music. I looked behind her again to see Luan standing there, plucking notes while the rest began to hum softly. Sam stepped back from me and started to sing.

“Wise men say, only fools rush in.” She too my hand and we started to dance there on the front lawn of the school.

“But I can’t help, falling in love, with you.” And that was it. The tears started flowing, and it felt like I was flying. We danced there while the music played, and she sang along. Lori recorded the whole thing on her phone, her doe eyes unable to look away. When the song finally finished, Sam took my hands in hers and looked at me shyly.

“So… um… want to give this whole thing a t-“ She didn’t have time to finish. I gave her the biggest kiss I could muster and pulled her in tight to me. She held me close and kissed me back. When we finally broke the kiss, I looked deep into her eyes.

“I don’t know if I like girls.” She and I both laughed and she pushed my shoulder before giving me another quick kiss on cheek.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” She said, still laughing. I walked over to Luan and grabbed the guitar, mouthing ‘thank you’ to her. She winked and handed it over. I walked back slowly as I started to play.

“ Oh yeah I tell you somethin' ,  I think you'll understand. When I say that somethin', I want to hold your hand” It was my turn to make her starry eyed now. And I intended to pay her back in full.

“ Oh please say to me .  You'll let me be your man,” I gave her a cheeky wink at that point, getting a little chuckle from her.

“and please say to me. You'll let me hold your hand! Now, let me hold your hand, I want to hold your hand” I stopped just short of her and got down on one knee. Strumming the notes and adding my own little flare to it. Her face flushed a deep red and she covered her mouth to try and hold back her gasp.  She came over and placed a finger under my chin, gently rising me from the ground.

“And when I touch you I feel happy inside. It's such a feelin' that my love, I can't hide.” And that was as far as I got before she started kissing me. I waved behind my back telling my siblings to go away. Lori and Leni nodded and dragged the others off, their disapproval of not sticking around trailed after them.

Sam was right though, we’re just dumb kids. First love is tricky because you never know where it is going to lead. We could grow old together, or we could grow apart. We could be soulmates, or a story we would tell our lovers one day as a fond memory. But for now, in this moment, we had each other. And while we sat there on the grass of the school lawn, holding hands and getting as close as we could, that was enough.


End file.
